LONG POST WARNING! It is a good one though :)

I am currently here in my bed at 6:25 pm, feeling a little sicky, listening to alt-J, and reading one of my new favorite bloggers.  Here is her link so you can check her out too (after you read this :).  But i've been reading almost all of her posts and admiring how real she is and its made me want to be a little bit more real with you all, then I thought of a topic that I have been wanting to write but have been a little nervous to.  You are probably wondering what this topic is now so here it is... A Girl In Waiting.  Waiting for what you ask? Well I am waiting on a who, on my future husband.  There I said it!

So now it's time to get real.  For some reason this isn't easy for me to share and I think it's just because it is something very personal and something that a lot of people may not fully understand so let me tell you how it went down.  I went to a small school where I had at the most 50 students in my class. Holy smokes thats small! Going through high school, there weren't too many boys that were interested in me and I always wondered if there was something wrong with me and I used to be insecure about who I was.  I had a lot of friends but I always wondered "why don't boys like me?" One day when I was about 15 I had a thought that came out of no where... What if The Lord isn't allowing any boys to like me because He desires for me to save myself  for that one person that He has planned for me to marry.  I mean that totally makes sense right? 

Now many Christians have different opinions on "The One" and that's okay.  I am not saying that my opinion is for every one but The Lord was very clear with me on this subject and I believe, FOR ME, He has one person in His plan for me to marry one day.  Now I'm not saying once I had this revelation everything became easier because it didn't.  I was a young girl in high school and all of my friends were in relationships and I wasn't.  I kept on reminding myself of what the Lord had told me and I just kept on waiting.  When I was a Junior in high school I began to keep a journal for my future husband.  This was the best decision I made because now it wasn't like I was waiting on no one, I was praying for a real life person, I was writing to a real person who would one day read this journal.  I plan to give this journal to him when the Lord reveals to me that's him.  

I know a lot of people reading this may be thinking But how will you know you guy are compatible? This may be crazy but I just know that there is a man out there that I am meant to marry and I will just know it when I meet him, or maybe i'll be good friends with him and one day it will hit me out of no where.  I won't need to know if we are compatible because I know that The Lord will reveal the right fella to me. This is just my opinion and thats okay if we don't agree but it's nice to think it happens this way right?!  

The older I got the harder it became to wait. I am still only 20 years old and I am so young but because I've never been in a relationship it feels like i've been waiting forever... but I havn't and I am just impatient.  I am friends with a lot of older people and a lot of my friends are in their mid and late 20's and all of them are either married, engaged, or seriously dating someone and I'm over here like Any day now! But I know that we are being prepared for each other. (I like to think that he is the one who needs the preparing because I am perfect and ready to go! Totally kidding!)  So I write this in hopes that it may just help someone who may be going through this.  It is hard but I know it is worth it and he is worth it because when I meet him I will be able to say to him "I have been only yours and I will only ever be yours, no one else's." What a sappy and special gift!  Us girls are just so sappy.. Or maybe just me! 

So now I just keep on waiting till I meet that guy that I will one day spend forever with, but until then I will be working on contentment with Christ because if I ain't content with Him now there will be no way I will be content with Him when I have another person I am always thinking about.  #dailystruggle 

If you have made it this far, then thank you for reading and I hope that this can help you or maybe you just enjoy reading honest opinions! Let me know in the comments any thoughts you have and lets leave only nice comments and replies to others.  Our opinions don't have to be everyone else's opinions too!    Now it is 9:00 pm and its time for bed. Okay I'm done talking, Bye